By Sean Cunningham, howiGit Contributing Writer, New York, NY
***howiGit disclosure: This article is written by a graduate of Villanova University. As a result this article likely contains little to no intelligence and should therefore be rendered invalid in all ways. When I warned Mr. Cunningham that this disclosure would be running with his article, he attempted to pass this off on me: “Before I start, I have been told that I must disclose that I attended the prestigious Villanova University, which trumps St. Joe’s in every way. Except fun. No disputing St. Joe’s is a good time.” Way to insult my school by calling it more fun that yours. Go fudge your law school’s entrance requirements why don’t you.
In light of the recent news of Osama bin Laden’s recent death, I would like to inform America of our new public enemy #1: Rashard Mendenhall. The Steelers running back has not only suggested that the 9/11 attacks were a conspiracy, but also has suggested that OBL (Osama Bin Laden) has rational reasons behind the ordering of those attacks. Yes, both of those statements are true. Through his ass-hattery of a Twitter account, Mendenhall released a series of tweets on Monday that are not only questioned the events of 9/11, but borderline asked if OBL’s actions were just. Now I would like to stress that all of these statements are conjecture, because Mendenhall never flat out supported OBL, but he said enough to show not only an amazing disloyalty to America, but a blatant disrespect to the lives lost on 9/11.
I would like to first point out that Mendenhall has a history of being a moron on Twitter. After Adrian “$11 Million next year” Peterson tweeted that the current NFL lockout resembled “modern day slavery,” Mendenhall re-tweeted “Anyone with knowledge of the slave trade and the NFL could say that these two parallel each other.” Yes, he publicly put his name to that statement. I first question:
1) Rashard do you have any idea of the history of slave trade? No one came to your house when you were 18 and said “Boy, get your ass to Illinois and play football, we will educate you for free, and you will be a tool in the cog that will get you to the NFL where you make more on 1 paycheck than most people do in a year.”
2) Do you have any idea that there is current slave trade going on in the world? Not trying to be a hater, and I understand African-Americans’ plight in this country, but educate yourself before you go making public statements comparing men making millions to play a game to men and women making nothing to be prostitutes. African Americans have had it hard in this country and still do. But just because your owner is white and most of the players are black doesn’t mean its slavery.YOU’RE GETTING PAYED YOU IDIOT! And a lot of money at that. You play for the Steelers, which is the second most respected team in the league after the G-MEN. You’re not a slave. You’re not an indentured servant. You’re an asshole with too much time on your hands.
If I were the Steelers I would cut Mendenhall right now. You call yourself a conversationalist? A bi-polar Catherine Zeta-Jones is a conversationalist when she is talking to herself. You literally list speaking as your second profession. Someone in his life really needs to tell him “Rashard, it’s time to get off your twitter game.”
How can you take this guy’s comments seriously?
So now I would like to address his tweets, one by one:
No Rashard, we have heard both sides. When a man goes on international television and takes credit for the worst terrorist attack in the history of this great nation, we have heard his side. I agree that the celebration of death does seem a bit off. But this man was the symbol of evil for your generation. So forgive people who had their mothers and fathers murdered (and yes it was murder) feeling some satisfaction that the coward behind the whole thing is dead.
And Rashard, I have heard you speak. You are very articulate. Your perception of the world is so skewed it is unbelievable. You live the dream while others live in despair. We all heard Osama speak on the day it happened, claiming he ordered the attacks. Just because his words were subtitles into English doesn’t mean we didn’t hear him.
“I believe in God. I believe we’re ALL his children. And I believe HE is the ONE and ONLY judge.”
For the sake of argument, let’s say I’m not judging you. When whatever God you believe in hears your thoughts and judges you, he will tell you you’re an idiot. Taking of over 3,000 innocent lives is not justifiable.
“For those of you who said you want to see Bin Laden burn in hell and piss on his ashes, I ask how would God feel about your heart?”
I hope whatever God I see will feel good about my heart, because I hate a man who had so much hatred for an entire nation of innocent people. As I said above, I understand being uncomfortable with people celebrating his death like it is New Years Eve. That’s fine. But this was and will be a momentous occasion for Americans. The man who orchestrated the worst attack on American soil is dead. It’s a sense of pride. Sorry it didn’t effect you in Illinois as much as it did here in New York. But have a sense of the moment for God’s sake.
“There is not an ignorant bone in my body. I just encourage you to #think”
In my mind this might be the worst of them all. You’re not ignorant? You are by far the most ignorant person alive. You incited people to think. Now everyone thinks your the dumbest person alive, congrats.
Rashard has since removed this from his Twitter page so I can not directly quote him, but to paraphrase “I can’t believe a plane took down a skyscraper demolition stye.”
This one can’t be serious. Honestly, it has to be a joke. To imply that you think that in any way there were other parties involved is asinine. Bush was a moron too, and it’s find it hard to find many people who won’t admit that. But to imply that he signed off on an attack that would blow up 2 ENORMOUS buildings in lower Manhattan, half of the Pentagon, and have a fourth plane heading to HIS OWN CURRENT RESIDENCE is absolutely and utterly stupid.
Bush had it all planned out, except those damn citizens of the country he ruled thwarted his plans and crashed the plane in Pennsylvania instead of into the White House. I’m sure that really pissed him off.
Rashard, I cannot wait for you to meet your Judge. I wish you were coming to the Giants this year. I would boo you harder than I have ever booed anyone. You are Un-American, Un-Patriotic, and un-deserving of the uniform that you wear.
Such anger and strong opinions, this guy must have a very good looking intelligent older brother
Yea his insecurities at being the brushed aside younger brother definitely came out.
I think I have the right to hate someone who used the money he inherited from Daddy to commit war crimes on four different continents, and who has publicly declared his desire to kill me and everyone like me.
Always providing the necessary perspective captain Shmi.
Also, I don’t know if it’s bad form to link to another blog on G’s blog, but I thought this was tasteless and funny enough to bring to everyone’s attention:
http://www.phillygameday.com/2011/03/slave-apologizes-after-comparing-self-to-nfl-players/
Very appropriate. Whoever is responsible for that content is a beautiful individual.
Everyone on the Steelers is an idiot off the field (except Polamalu). We get it.
Haha. And James Harrison. He’s usually just found getting acupuncture in a hyperbolic chamber with a cobra before games.
im very upset my death wishes on that asshat were cut. i blame jimmy
We’re not in the business of issuing death wishes on the internet, unfortunately. But you are right (as always) to be blaming Jimmy.
I blame Jimmy