By Jimmy Cunningham, howiGit New York Writer, Manhattan, NY
Writing this one was fun. After I finished celebrating by dancing and taking my shirt off… wait that was Rob Gronkowski and Matt Light. But after drinking 30 Bud Lights and hugging anyone I could get my hands on, I started to think about the article I was going to write about 2-time Super Bowl MVP Elisha Manning. Eli’s gotten plenty of shit on this blog, I decided to go back and find it all. And my God there was a lot. I wanted to write this on Monday, but my hangover got in the way. So I sat down on Tuesday to find it all. Going back from the most recent article to the beginning of this blog is the behavior of a psychopath, but it allowed me to see, 1) How much shit Eli gets, and 2) How great this blog is. It let me go back and see many great posts by Geoff and other contributors, great arguments, simply asinine arguments, and how far this blog has come. I am truly proud to be a small part of it. But enough of fluffing Geoff’s already JPP wingspan sized ego – let’s rip him to shreds.
I was able to find 18 articles in which Eli was somehow bashed. Geoff tries to write an article a day, usually not on weekends, so that is almost a full month of Eli bashing. Let’s get to the highlights. The Eli pot shots started August 17, 2010 with the very appropriate title of “Eli Manning- Lets Take Some Pot Shots.” Most of these have to do with the very mature argument “He looks dumb.”
” I didn’t have to wait long (big surprise) to see Eli’s ever-present whining-panicked-crying look return to his ugly mug.” -howiGit
“There’s no defending Eli….he could be an MVP and lead the league in TD’s but he’d still be a huge idiot, just becasue of his dumb face… his stats dont matter…hes a clown. He could be the best QB in the league (which he’s not even close) and hed still be the worst just casue of his dumb face.”
Expert analysis guys, I much prefer the picture above. Next came the August 20th article, written by the best looking blogger on this site, yours truly.
“I don’t know about calling Eli a “star” quarterback. Come on. Even if he was in the top 10 in the league, that doesn’t necessarily make him a star. Stars are stars because they stand out in ability compared to their peers at the same position.” -howiGit
Our own howiGit called Eli elite this week. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a star.
And it continued when the new planet Gliese 581g was discovered.
“After finishing a particularly troublesome argument this morning, in which some people tried to favorably compare “elite” quarterback Eli Manning to Tom Brady, I decided I’d had enough. I can’t share a planet with the likes of Eli and A-Rod, no way. They don’t deserve to live in a galaxy with a being as supreme as myself. I’m tired of having them bring me down.”-howiGit
Hope you got your space suit ready.
I was at it again on October 27th with a Giants article. From the comments:
“I think Eli Manning is overrated, but the rest of the Giants are pretty damn solid. Hence my CC Sabathia comment. The Giants wouldn’t be much worse with him in there for Eli. Throw any B- quarterback in there and you’re still a good team. I agree on all fronts. Please just don’t use “Eli” and “Leader” in the same sentence again.”-howiGit
I am itching for Mike Vick or another B- QB. And then came this gem:
“All of the above is irrelevant, for this reason. When you have a pussy leader, like say….Iran, your country sucks. Sure there are millions of good and decent people in Iran, but Mahmoud Ahmadinejad makes you forget about all of them, and chalk up Iran as a silly state. Same goes for Quarterbacks in football, the Giants have some serious talent and skill, but Eli manning is a moron, and thus follows, his team will not make it to the super bowl, just like Iran will not be a respected government in the next 15 years or ever on the UN Security Council. Sorry Giants fans.”- Mr Alan Weeks
I still have no idea what this means, but to use the same incoherent rambling metaphor; Eli Manning just went America all over everyone’s ass.
On December 20th and on December 21st, after an awful Giants loss Mr Kevin Youkillis wrote this:
“Oh j-bone, so predictable.. im surprised you havent’ brought up the giants winning the super bowl yet. it’s time for some new material. geeze Jimmy.. really resorting to the Giants winning the super bowl again? i feel like im watching ground hogs day.” -Kevin Youkilis
Well congrats Bud, I got some more material. The Eagles, they can give Bill Murray a call because its the same ole shit for them.
“Would the Giants be a better team with Jay Cutler as their QB instead of Eli? That questions is officially on the table for discussion’s sake people, so run with it.” -howiGit
Short answer no, long answer no. It continues two days later.
“Ok it was a shot at Eli, but that’s one of my specialties.”- howiGit
That was it all in the 2010 season; to summarize the best Boston sports blog around wrote 6 articles of note about the New York Giants QB, who the Pats did not play that year. The creepy obsession with Elisha made Sundays all the more enjoyable.
But to think that no football would stop the Eli bashing would be more accurate than Tom Brady’s loud mouth wife telling him he played the best game of his life.
On Feb 2 Tom Brady is named to GQ Cool Athlete list and howiGit for the roughly the sixth time tells me the tapes of Tom Brady dumping the ball into the flat are in the mail – they must have gotten lost. If you want I can mail you the last two Super Bowls he played in, because he did not play well in either. There is a lot of Eli vs Brady in this one if anyone is interested.
The next article takes us to June 16th when the city of Boston started to pretend to be Bruin fans. This one doesn’t have much to do with Eli at all but it was an epic argument that still holds very true. Tom Brady has never won a Super Bowl with out the benefit of defensive signals. Every Super Bowl team Tom Brady has been on cheated to get there. When I mentioned this then, it was called a witch hunt and alot of just silliness was demanded, such as me having to show the tapes in order for it to be considered cheating. But this one still holds true, and to quote the old Boston Sports Guy before he went to LA and howiGit took his throne, “The Giants made this happen. And to a lesser extent, so did the Jets — without them, Spygate never happens, and neither does that “You’ve never won anything since Spygate” crap, which technically isn’t crap because it’s true.”
We almost made it through the whole summer with out an Eli shot. When Albert Haynesworth signed and I said it was a bad fit (I am such an idiot for thinking that by the way) Eli was brought up out of nowhere. Even when he hasn’t had to watch him in months Eli is still on howiGit’s mind… in retrospect it actually is kinda cute.
This is my second favorite one. Chad OchoCinco is signed. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Who could have seen this one coming? Here’s my favorite part:
“Branch on one side, Chad on the other and Welker in the slot. Even if the Jets sign Nhamdi (I dont think they will) the addition of Johnson gives Patriots the best recieving corps in the league. Especially when you add in Hernandez and Gronk.”- Williams
You just f’n nailed this one kid, right on the money as usual.
“Jimmy nothing you say holds any weight in regards to the Patriots.” -Williams
My suggestion of using the $12 mil spent on Fat Albert and OchoNoShow on the secondary seems pretty spot on now. Muppet.
Now this one was my favorite. Eli Manning says he is ELIte, you would have thought someone said Larry Bird really wasn’t all that good with the reaction this got.
You can go read the article to see how wrong our Editor In Chief was but I will just use one line, “In other words, shut your mouth Eli – you’re just making yourself looks stupid.” It is now your time to shut your mouth about Eli, because all your bashing just made you look stupid.
Now on to some final comments:
“BTW J-Bone….Eli’s a bum”
We will get to you in a second.
“Eli is not even a top 10 qb. In no order i would rather have VIck, Rodgers, Peyton, Brady, Brees, Rothleisberger, Rivers, Bradford, Cutler, Flacco and Ryan. each of these qbs is either better or has a significant upside to their game that Eli does not have. I suppose yo could argue he is in the very bottom teir of that top 10, but i don’t see it. and dont give me the “he has a ring” nonsense.”
Yes Kevin Youkillis put Bradford, Flacco, Ryan, Cutler, and Vick ahead of Eli.
“i have bradford because of his age, cutler can be cut and replaced with freeman.”
Now add Josh Freeman. Todd McShay better get his resume ready because when evaluating talent like my good friend Kevin here you should be getting paid for your opinions.
“I would also drop Cutler and Bradford off this list, but I would also add Josh Freeman and Kyle Orton to QBs that are better than Eli.”
WOW. Josh Freeman threw 16 touchdowns and 22 picks. Kyle Orton got cut.
“What exactly is a “statistically lucky year?” What, did Vick accidentally let go of the ball a couple of times, and it ended up in the endzone 21 times? Conversely, Eli threw the ball a bunch of times, and by some unfortunate stroke of luck, he put it in an opponent’s hands 1.5 times per game?”
Mike Vicks career td/int ratio is 1.2, Mike Vicks 2010 3.5, Mike Vicks 2011 1.2. That is what is called regression to the mean.
“OK, if I win, you come to a Phillies game and wear Phillies gear, if you win I’ll go to a Yankees game wearing Yankees gear. Pictures and insults to be posted.”
Eli 1.8, Vick 1.2. I will have something special picked out for you, let me know what date you wanna go see 27 World Championship Banners.
“His career otherwise is defined by big passing yardage numbers followed by interceptions and choking.”
No his career is defined by being a multiple Super Bowl winner and MVP both times, both times outplaying Tom Brady. And as far as choking, Eli set the record for most 4th quarter comebacks in a season, he had 8 total if you count the NFC championships and Super bowl. And most 4th quarter touchdown passes ever by a QB in a season. He right now is the best big game quarterback and most clutch player in the league.
And finally after over a year of bashing we get to the last article I can find. This was exhausting and I am embarrassed how much time I spent looking back. Tom Brady talks about lube or something and mr glutton shows up again.
“The difference J-Bone is that Brady is a winner. Winners get to do whatever they want. Eli is and looks like a loser. Losers get picked on and beat up after gym class.”
I think Tom Brady is tired of playing Eli in gym class.
“I do it because of your blind allegiance to an average NFL quarterback. Yes, for better and for worse (usually worst) he is your New York Giants’ qb and you have to live with that. I could be wrong but I don’t recall you ever being overly critical, slamming Eli, or just being pissed that you have to rely on him to run your team’s offense. I find this particularly vexing given Eli’s propensity to pull “Romos” on a regular basis. Loyalty and trust like yours can be an admirable thing, but not when it’s comparable band members following someone from the Delta Tau Chi fraternity into an alley way and ramming themselves into a brick wall over and over and over. Be objective and admit Eli isn’t a great quarterback and we can move on (a miracle pass and having a great defense in the Super Bowl doesn’t count).”
And here is the thing on why all of you were so very wrong. Us Giant fans had “blind allegiance” to Eli because we have actually watched every game of his career. We have watched him raise his QB rating in the 4th quarter when it matters most, something Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger (his actually DROPS 15 points from any other quarter), Drew Brees, or Aaron Rodgers do not do. We have watched him average a 4th quarter comeback every 5.7 games and a game winning drive every 4.84 games in comparison to Brady’s 6.4 and 4.6. So Eli takes his team back more often the Tom and has a game winning drive almost as often but all we hear is Tom is clutch and Eli is a bum, choker, ugly, and dumb. We have watched him put his team on his back twice to win the Super Bowl to the tune of 15 tds, 2 picks, and 2073 yards, in comparison to Bradys 3 super bowls at 11 tds, 3 picks, and 1951 yards. And we have now watched this idiot get his team in the end zone twice with under a minute left, both times against Brady’s Patriots. When you know someone is wrong, especially when that person in question is your favorite football player on your favorite team you stick up for them, and in the end Eli backed us up. Now that Eli has finally shut your collectivity wrong mouths, I just hope we have something to argue about around here. I am sure we will find something.